did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
