So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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