I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
