Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
