I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
