We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
should my penis look like a turkey
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
