Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
