I didn't shave. On purpose
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
