OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
