in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
