carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
