Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
