I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
