For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
