i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
