i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
