From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
