I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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