Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
