We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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