**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
