I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
