is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The air was thick with penises
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
