no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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