The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
