Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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