I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
