I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
