I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am midnight drunk by noon
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
