i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
