I heard we made out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
