She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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