a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
