she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He had one of those small greek statue penises
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
please don't ironically join a cult
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