She said her name was "party"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
