We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
