I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
