I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize