you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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