No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
