nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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