pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
