i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
