I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
