You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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