i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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