Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
