omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
