I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
