Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
