At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
