Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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