You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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