I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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