8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
