so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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