I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
