my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
