I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
