I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
