i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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