Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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